just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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