Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
