All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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