3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You're like the curious george of whores
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
