Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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