the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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