How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
