I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize