Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
