Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
