I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
