When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
