I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
