I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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