if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
