I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
