What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
