you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
