I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
