I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
