I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
