am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
