Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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