Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
