Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
