If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The feeling are messing with the penis
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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