garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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