Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
