wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can you bring me the toilet please
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
