i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
