So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
