Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
