I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
