Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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