Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
