so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
