She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
