I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
