Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
