I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
