i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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