And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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