She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
