Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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