at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize