It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
