we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize