do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
