So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
