your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
