Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize