youre lurking in front of me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
