There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
