I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
