Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
