Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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