Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
