then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
