Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
