the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
