I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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