Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
