I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
