But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
