I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
