well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
