The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
