She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
